Hyper Teens Take Over Middle Earth
by Laurenza003
Summary: Two lotr obessed cousins go through a purple puddle into ME, one talks to a picture of daniel radcliffe, the other is COMPLETELY obessed with aragorn.Arwen gets turned into a teapot, gimli almost gets blown up,a razoor of DOOM?Enter if you dare pleaseR
1. Chapter 1 The crazy begininning

A/N: My cousin Morgan and I were extremely hyper one day, and had many cokes. And we decided that we would create a lotr parody, here's what we created. Enjoy:D

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Chapter 1 the beginning..

Lauryn sitting in front of T.V...drooling "Isn't he dreamy?"sigh

"Erm...yes...with all that grease and dirt...why wouldn't he be?"she says in sarcastic tone

"What was that Morgan?" she says in slightly distracted voice

"Oh nothing.."continues to drool over 2cmx3cm photo of Daniel Radcliffe she found in dumpster

"YOU'RE STILL LOOKING AT THAT? Buy a new one!"

Empties wallet and a dead mutated moth with three eyes fall out "But I have no money..."

Big hairy man with one eyes comes out of no where, wearing a "BEST BUY" uniform

"Okay guys it's closing time...you have to leave now..."

"AHHHHH SAURON...RUN!"

Store owner stands still..as tumbleweed tumbles by. "Okay then..."

hysteric laughing "OMG! That never gets old!"

"Yep...if only Danny was here..."

"WHO?"

"My lover..."

"OooOOOOhhhhh..."

"Yes...my precious"

"Hey look Morgan!" points to ground

stares in Awe "What is it?"

"Looks like a purple puddle to me..."

"Ya...a purple puddle...Ooooo.."

"Hey, we should jump in it!"

"LAURYN! What did great Aunt Bunny say about purple puddles?"

flashback to small woman wearing a bunny suit with white hair and a grey moustache...

"If you see a purple puddle. make sure you JUMP IN IT. Also, find my razor. some guy with

a beard stole it from me many years ago..."

"K, Lets go!"

link arms and jump

"WEEEEEEE!"


	2. Chapter 2 Where Lauryn lands

Chapter 2 Where Lauryn Lands...

"AAaAaAAaAaAaAaAaAaAAHhHhHHhHhHhHhHHhHhHhHhHh", she screams as she arrives at her final destination...a bush. "OMG! What a ride...eh Morgan?...Morgan? MORGAN! WHERE ARE YOU?" Lauryn screams. "Oh boy. good I lost her...I sure won't be taking advice from any aunt bunny anymore. Now, where am I? That is the question...hmmm"

Nearby a pack of 20 orcs are camped out waiting to attack any man who tries to pass their

way.

"Hey did you hear that?" one of the orcs asked.

"Ya, sounded like a girl screaming about a Morgan." says another orc.

"Hey I've heard of those they're blond and have big blue eyes and are obsessed with small

hairy blue eyed creatures."

"Hmm...lets go capture this girl maybe she'll entertain us somehow.."

"Sure.."

"Oh my gosh...I'm never going to find her out here...I mean look at this place...it looks like Middle Earth!" Lauryn says to herself. "Hmm...maybe I'm in like the place where they filmed lotr...what's it called? Umm...NEW ZEALAND! That's it! Now, if I could find a phone around here or maybe a Viggo laughs then I'll be good."

"Now, be careful she may try and attack us but you know she's only a girl." says orc one.

"Okay, I'll bind her hands and feet and you cover her mouth so the men do not hear her

scream."

"Hmm.. Now if I got straight-" Lauryn gets cut off by smelly weird coloured hand that covers her mouth. muffled noise that sounds like :Hey let me go! You smell!...she begins to kick when all of a sudden an ugly, smelly, disgusting, revolting, hideous, bubble-faced orc appears in front of her.

"HEY! I'M NOT ANY OF THOSE!" Shouts the orc.

"Oh yes you are! Now shut up and continue to capture her!" says the narrator..

"Oh gee..thanks for the help" Lauryn states.

"OMG!" she yelled.. "You're an orc! OMG! I must be in Middle Earth!"

"Wow...maybe she hit her head on a rock or something...she's really stupid" whispers, one of the orcs.

"Now hold still and we'll take you somewhere nice..."

All of a sudden they hear a strong mans voice..yes his voice can be strong:p "RELEASE HER!" the strangers voice boomed..

Lauryn looks up to see... yes! Aragorn to her rescue!..Narrator..hmm this is beginning

to sound like a Mary-sue. Lauryn: SHUT UP! I never decided to fall in a purple puddle..oh wait, yes I did… continue

As Aragorn said this the orcs where circled by like 300 men with swords, and one blonde

chic with pointy ears and a bow and a hairy little Nome with an axe..

"Now do I have to repeat myself?" Aragorn asks, "or will you release her?"

At that moment the blonde chic with pointy ears nailed the orcs in the heads with his

arrows. Lauryn stands there in aw...

"Holy smokes! You guys are like people who live in middle earth! OMG! You are so cool!" Lauryn shouts out with excitement.

Aragorn mumbles something to blonde chic with pointy ears, "They must have hit her in the head or something."

"Well my lady, who may you be?" Aragorn asked.

"Um..me? Well I'm Lauryn...and I lost my cousin Morgan"

"Hmm.. well we have not come across her but you should best come with us back to Minis Tirith and then you can go back home..."

Lauryn thinks: SHOOT! Umm.. have to think of where I come from..." I cannot because you see I come from a really far off place...called Canada..."

Gimli mutters to legolas, "wow, apparently Canada is not a great place to have children, they grow up to be dim-witted just like this one." points at Lauryn with his axe.

legolas: "she's only a young girl, of course she is not smart yet."

"I'M SMART! I'M JUST LOST!"

"Okay, settle down," says Aragorn. "You can come and stay with me until you find your cousin."

gets on horse with Aragorn... and they begin to ride to Minis Tirith

Lauryn mutters to herself under breath no Arwen has a chance now that I'm here."

"What was that? Did you say Arwen?"

"Um...maybe" shifts eyes

"Arwen was going to be my wife someday but then some "witch of the north" turned her into a

teapot, so now she sits on a Pedi stool until we destroy the razor of DOOM that will set all of Middle Earth free, and Arwen from evil."

"Not If I destroy her first" Lauryn says in her head.

"This sounds familiar...you say she got turned into a teapot?"

"Yes..."

Lauryn begins to laugh hysterically, until everyone is starring at her.

"Um... I had that happened to a friend and the doctor said the best way to ease the pain is

to laugh...yes laugh"

everyone has a blank stare

"Umm.. so why are we going to Minis Tirith?" Lauryn asks to break silence.

"Yes, There is going to be a great battle between good and evil, a battle that will set

our fate for all eternity."

"Hmm.. that sounds familiar too."

As they get to the top of a hill they stop. "Aaaahhhh...Minis Tirith...long I have I dreamt

of revisiting this place." Aragorn sighed.

Lauryn looks at rock city and then up at Aragorn. "OOOoooohhhh! I remember now you're the king

of this place!"

Aragorn gives Lauryn a worried look "Are you sure they did not hit you?"

"NO! I MEAN YES I'M SURE!"she replies sounding very annoyed

"Okay, well no I am not king but...Arwen had always wanted me to..." he trails off.

Lauryn reminds herself "battle… then king...battle and THEN king.. okay got it."

As they ride up the streets of Minis Tirith, Lauryn remembers that the evil teapot of

Lauren's lover is nearby.

"So um...Aragorn.. can I see this teapot..erm Arwen?"

"Of course, I will show it to you and then we will eat...you must be hungry, and then I

will show you to your room.. you must be tired."

Lauryn mumbles to herself, "Ya, Best Buy, purple puddle, orcs, and guy of my dreams, ya I could call it a day."


	3. Chapter 3 Where Morgan lands

Chapter 3 Where Morgan Lands

Morgan comes up through purple puddle

Morgan: ...THAT was weird... Where are we? Lauryn? looks around Lauryn? LAURYN? SHE LEFT ME! Oh, that's just great. This is all turning out to be EXACTLY like my last birthday... At least I'm not at an international airport this time... And YOU'RE here to comfort me, Dan.

Picture of Daniel Radcliffe: silence

Morgan: tears up You always know what to say to make me feel better hugs picture and gets paper cut

Picture of Daniel Radcliffe: silence

Morgan: Well, I guess we'd better find a police officer or something to show us the way home... Come on.

Morgan and the Picture of Daniel Radcliffe travel not very long and not very far.

Nonetheless, Morgan is very weary when we next see her

Morgan: Oh Dan, I don't know if I'll be able to make it. All this physical excersion is tough on me! And look at my skin! I've gone a whole fifteen minutes outside without sun block! My complexion is RUINED! holds up deathly pale arm LOOK! breaks down sobbing

Picture of Daniel Radcliffe: silence

Morgan: Oh Dan, even your tender words of comfort can do nothing for me now. I'm tired, and hungry, need sun block and sugar. No words could compensate for those losses. But we must soldier on. Just sitting here feeling sorry for ourselves won't get us anywhere. Hmmmm, Dan?

Picture of Daniel Radcliffe: silence

Morgan: SHUT UP! I don't need your back sass! hits picture

Picture of Daniel Radcliffe: silence

Morgan: rushes to picture I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to. I was just so tired... And you weren't helping... But I'm sorry, it won't happen again. I promise! I PROMISE! breaks down sobbing

Picture of Daniel Radcliffe: silence

Morgan has gotten over her fatigue and hunger, and continues to brave the elements. She walks through wind, snow, sleet, rain, sun, and worst of all, a wave of babies. All the time, the loyal Picture is by her side. Suddenly, Morgan comes to a familiar looking pass. Footsteps are heard in the distance, and Morgan cranes her neck to try and see who it is... Through a large rock

Morgan: I wonder who it could be...

Orc 1:...Obsessed with hairy blue eyed creatures

Orc 2: Hmm...let's go capture this girl..maybe she'll entertain us somehow..

Orc 1: Sure...

Morgan: Uh oh! Looks like we ought to get out of here! God knows that things that like hairy blue eyed creatures are REALLY creepy, and usually mentally unstable. Let's high tail it outta here! runs away clutching pictureMorgan is running with her beloved picture, and deep frown creasing her forehead. She is deep in thought while running, which causes her to run into four trees, a shrubbery, AND a garden Nome before she decides to stop and finish thinking

Morgan: ...You know, those voices back there did sound awfully familiar...

Picture of Daniel Radcliffe: silence

Morgan: gaspMy God, you're right! They WERE orcs from 'the Lord of the Rings'!...Which is inferior to 'Harry Potter' in almost every way! dawns on her what she just said HEY! How many times do we have to go over this? You can insult me, you can insult the county I come from, you can ever insult my mother if you want, but don't you ever EVER insult 'the Lord of the Rings', do you hear me?

Picture of Daniel Radcliffe: silence

Morgan: That's what I thought. So, anyway, were do you figure we are? I mean, Canada certainly doesn't have orcs...

Picture of Daniel Radlciffe: silence

Morgan: What do you mean they're all in the Yukon? The Yukon doesn't have orcs! What a stupid thing to- Ooooooooh! Peeeerdy!

Morgan and the Picture are met by the sight of a massive city made entirely of stone. Yes, this is the city of Minas Tirith, the city of the King. Morgan and the Picture stand on a hill and take in the beauty and majesty of the city with awe

Morgan: Why can't WE have a place like that?

Morgan and the Picture have entered Minas Tirith, and walk around. They enter the local market, in order to meet and greet some of the locals

Morgan: Wow, who'da thunk that Belgium would have such a complex layout? I mean, we got lost FIVE TIMES just going down a straight pathway!

Morgan and the picture walk along a pathway, and pass an old man in white being followed by a short man it seemed. Morgan stares after them in complete astonishment, but they don't seem to notice. She quickly snaps out of it

Morgan: Don't stare, it's rude!

Picture of Daniel Radcliffe: silence

Morgan: mutters Typical...

Morgan walks through market place, looking at the different vendors and such. The one and only Guard in all of Minas Tirith comes walking down the street, and looks at Morgan confusedly. It is just then that she remembers that she has not changed clothes since jumping into the puddle, and because it had been summer vacation back home, six days before that. The Guard walks up to Morgan

Guard: Hey, you? Where have you found clothing so strange? I know not of any peoples who dress thus...

Morgan: ...uh...yes...thinks: thank GOD I read lots of Shakespeare back home! well...uh...you see... runs away

the Guard runs after Morgan, which proves to be an easy task, because Morgan quickly gets a cramp, and doubles over

Morgan: OH GOD! MY SIDE! DON'T JUST STAND THERE, CARRY ME!

Picture of Daniel Radcliffe: silence

Morgan: Bad back my ass. Oh, you're useless! tries to run, but falls over muffled Oh God...

Guard: catches up Get up! Get up, and tell me where thou hadst attained thine clothing!

Morgan: forced through loud gasps ...Is that even...grammatically correct?

Guard: SHUT UP! kicks Morgan

Morgan: groans

Guard: Come on, thou art coming with me!

the Guard picks Morgan up, and carries her off through the market place

the Guard, Morgan, and her beloved Picture enter a large hall made of stone. At the end of the hall, a man sits brooding. He looks up when the Guard comes in. Of course this is

Denethor, Steward of the city

Denethor: What is this? points to Morgan

Guard: I found her in the market place, my Lord.

Denethor: EXCELLENT! Let us say nothing of why you have brought her hither, or anything else regarding her. She shall stay in my house as my guest, because this is fan fiction, and nothing has to make sense here!

Guard: ...Fair enough...

Morgan: weakly woot

Morgan, the Picture and Denethor are sitting in the hall once more. Denenthor is giving a lecture on the importance of tomatoes, and Morgan looks quite bored. Suddenly, the doors of the hall open, and a man comes walking in. Of course this is Faramir, son of Denehtor. Morgan watches him with a slack jaw and begins to drool

Denethor: Aaaah Faramir, my son. Returned from battle, I see? Note the lack of coolness and ill will?

Faramir: Indeed, Father, I do. Perhaps it might interest you to know that we had to abandon an important border of your country that has historical and cultural significance to our people, and may or may not prove crucial in the impending battle.

Denehtor: ...Oh well shrugs Anyway, meet...uh... what was your name again?

Morgan: ...Morgan?

Denehtor: Oh, yes! Morgan! I took her in for absolutely no reason! I didn't even know her name until five seconds ago!

Faramir: looks around...Is this a Mary-Sue?

Denethor: shifts eyes...Of course not! pushes Morgan in front of Faramir Now go! Go form a forbidden love so I can object to it later, and create much angst!

Faramir: ...Whatever shrugs

Morgan: shrugs

Picture of Daniel Radcliffe: silence

Faramir and Morgan are out riding horses... on Peleanor Field... They seem to be having a grand old time!

Morgan: laughs Oh Faramir, I'm having such a wonderful time with you. You're so different from the other guy I know. He is rude, obnoxious, obscene, and slightly repetitive. But you... you... dreamy sigh

Faramir: chuckles dreamily You know, Megan-

Morgan: Morgan

Faramir: Morgan. You are so different from Eowyn- I mean, other girls that I know. You are... so different from other girls I know.

Morgan: sighs...Isn't this field supposed to be surrounded by dangerous orcs right now?

Faramir: Well, yah, and I'm supposed to be off fighting them right now, what's your point? ...Aren't you supposed to be afraid of horses?

Morgan: ...Point taken shuts up

Picture of Daniel Radcliffe: silence

Morgan and Faramir: SHUT UP!

Picture of Daniel Radcliffe: silence

the Guard is walking around the passageways of Minas Tirith, patrolling the city. Suddenly, he comes upon upon a random closet in the solid walls. He looks quite confusedly at it, and ponders what a closet could be doing in the middle of a solid wall. He reaches down for the handle, and turns it. Pulling the door open, he reveals Morgan and Faramir snogging inside the closet. They looks up momentarily from their activity to see who opened the door. Having seen it was only the Guard, Faramir reaches over, and closes the door again

Picture of Daniel Radcliffe: pops out of nowhere single tear runs down paper cheek

Morgan: What do you mean unfaithful? I've cheated on no one!

Picture of Daniel Radlciffe: silence

Morgan: YOU? I've not once- okay, so that one time I told you I loved you and only you, but that was only that one time, and you can't expect to hold me to my word when you know very well that I was quite drunk at the time that I said it!

Picture of Daniel Radcliffe: silence

Morgan: So THAT'S how it's gonna be, eh? Well, two can play at that game, I'll have you know. Soon enough, you'll find that YOU will be the one crawling back to ME! storms out of room in self righteous huff

Morgan storms down hallway, undoubtedly looking for Faramir. She looks in a few rooms, obviously to no success. She seems to get fed up, and stops storming, and prepares to scream

Denethor: FARAMIR! perfectly in synch with Morgan opening her mouth to call for him

Morgan runs into the main hall to see Denehtor yelling at Faramir

Denthor: LET ORCS TAKE IVER MY COUNTRY, WILL YOU?

Faramir: weakly I didn't mean to...

Denthor: I DON'T CARE! YOU GET YOUR LAZY ASS OUT THERE AND TAKE BACK OUR BORDERS!

Faramir slowly exists the hall, looking dejected. Morgan follows him closely

Morgan: Where are you going?

Faramir: Fighting

Morgan: Can I come?

Faramir: No

Morgan: Will you come back for me?

Faramir: N-Yes. Yes I will...

Morgan: I'll wait for you!

Faramir: ...You do that...leaves hall to go get...war stuff

Morgan: sighs in despair What ever shall I do without him?

Aunt Bunny Apparition: Find my razor, damnit!

Morgan: What?

Aunt Bunny Apparition: I said "Find my razor, damnit!"!

Morgan: Oh...Okay... clueless look

Aunt Bunny Apparition: annoyed sigh You don't remember, do you?

Morgan: shakes head

Aunt Bunny Apparition: groans All right... FLASHBACK!"..and find my razor..some guy with a beard stole it from me many years ago..." Remember now?

Morgan: shifty eyes...yes... But couldn't you just buy another razor?

Aunt Bunny Apparition: No

Morgan: Why not?

Aunt Bunny Apparition: Because this razor is the one razor of DOOM! thunder claps, all lights go out, and a chill falls everywhere

Morgan: Ooooh! Foreboding...

Aunt Bunny Apparition: SHUT UP! ...Anyway, this is the single most evil thing in the universe, and it must be destroyed.

Morgan: thinks This is familiar from somewhere, isn't it?

Aunt Bunny Apparition: ...Do you know where you are?

Morgan: Belgium?

Aunt Bunny Apparition: ...No. You're not in Belgium. You're in a city called Minas Tirith... In a country called Gondor... With a guy called Faramir...Who has a father called Denethor...Where are you?

Morgan: ... thinks real hard... Belgium?

Aunt Bunny Apparition: YOU'RE IN MIDDLEEARTH!

Morgan: I'M IN MIDDLEEARTH! runs around screaming I want to meet Faramir!

Aunt Bunny Apparition: ...You have got to be THE stupidest person I've ever seen

Morgan: giggles yah...

Aunt Bunny Apparition: sighs Just find the friggin' Ring Bearer and get my razor, okay?

Morgan: Okay... Where is he?

Aunt Bunny Apparition: How the hell should I know? What am I? A friggin' Encyclopaedia? Just find him, okay?

Morgan: Sure thing Aunt B!

Aunt Bunny Apparition: shudders I'll pay you never to call me that again

Morgan: OKAY!

Aunt Bunny Apparition: Good-bye disappears

Morgan: ...huh...

Morgan packs her bags to leave, seemingly very angry

Morgan: mutters Stupid inanimate picture... I'll teach him... finishes packing bags and leaves. ALONE


	4. Chapter 4 Lauryn and the Teapot

Chapter 4 Lauryn and the Teapot

As they walk into the room, Lauryn runs into someone

person: "Watch where your going there missy!"

Lauryn: "Well sorry..sheesh maybe you should watch out.." as she said this she looked up to see an extremely handsome Eomer "hmmm.. wait.. I'm not turning into a Mary sue.. but he's soooOooOOOoOOOoo good looking." she says in her head.

Eomer: "Aragorn who would your lady friend be?"

Aragorn: "Ah yes this is Lauryn."

Eomer: "Well hello Lauryn, and nice to meet you..please come sit down."

Aragorn: thinks to self: "OOooh no he doesnt..trying to take her...he already got Arwen

turned into a teapot.." "That will be alright Eomer, I have people I would like to

introduce her too."

Lauryn: thinks to self: "Hmmm..I wonder what that was about..oh well:p.."

Aragorn: "Lauryn this is legolas"points to what Lauryn thought was a chic is actually a

guy. "And this is gimli"points to hairy little dwarf..which she thought was a nome.

Lauryn: "Nice to meet you both, So Aragorn when can I see this teapot...I mean arwen?"

Aragorn: "Aahh yes, follow me."

Lauryn: thinks to self: "mauamaumauamauamumau! When everyone is sleeping I will come into the room and grab the teapot and then.. BREAK IT! maniacal laughterIt's an evil genius plan!"

Aragorn: "Here it is..my arwen.." Aragorn stares at teapot sympathetically

Lauryn: "Aaahh..I see.."stares at it with her evil plan repeating in her head

Aragorn: "Well, we had best get to bed.."

Lauryn: cough "WE?" she asks slightly confused.

Aragorn: "You don't want to sleep with Gimli do you?" he smirks and walks off..

Lauryn: "NOOO!WAIT IM COMING!"thinks to self: "hehehe...sleeping in same bed as him..And NOOO this not a mary-sue..just my dream coming true lol..hehe some snogging may/will be involved.

Lauryn and Aragorn are lying in bed after they had "smogged"...hehehe funny word means like kissing Lauryn is lying on his stomach and his arm is around her..Lauryn wakes up and realises that she still has to steal teapot.

Lauryn: "SHOOT! Okay...I want to destroy teapot but don't want to leave...hmm hard decision destroy teapot or lie here with Aragorn..hmm..if I destroy teapot there will be LOTS of time for that:D"

Aragorn: "Where are you going Lauryn?"

Lauryn: "Umm..washroom..go back to sleep you have a big battle tomorrow.." says to herself: Biggest battle you have ever fought..hehehe

Lauryn sneaks off to the room..grabs teapot.."okay now where do I put it? Hmm..well I could sneak out of here and destroy it..or hide it..wait no it must be destroyed.."

Aragorn: "What must be destroyed?" Aragorn asks as he enters the room.

Lauryn: "Erm...nothing..."shifts eyes

Aragorn sees teapot in her hand and figures it out.."Aahh Lauryn, yes I agree with you it

must be destroyed..." he says and grabs it from her hands..

Lauryn :"NOOO..I WANT TO DESTROY IT! YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH IT MEANS TO ME THAT I DESTROY IT!"she screams.

Aragorn: "Okay okay..keep it down.."he sighs, and hands her the teapot

Lauryn: holding teapot "Long have I waited for this moment…muamauamuamaumau!

Long have I waited to make her deceased and NOW-"

Aragorn: "Come on hurry, I'm tired and someone may see you in your lingerie..."

Lauryn: "Its a tank top and shorts!"

Aragorn: "Too revealing for my future queen..now come on..rid this world of her"

Lauryn and Aragorn climb to that pointy top of minis tirith where that tree is and drops

the teapot.

CRASHSMASH!

Lauryn:" YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYYAYAY!"hugs Aragorn "SHES GONE!"

Aragorn: grins and hugs back "Finally..now you shall be mine"

Lauryn: "Ya I have a question..why are you very controlling?"

Aragorn: "Ever since Eomer and Arwen went off together and had "special time" I kept her away from any man, but then Eomer took her and she went with him and he lost her and the "good witch of the north" turned her into a teapot for leaving me. But that shall not happen to you, you shall never leave me or love anyone else! You are mine.. MAUAMMAUMAMMAUMAU!"

Lauryn :blank stare "So that's your special problem eh?"

Aragorn: "Yes and you must tell no one!"

Lauryn: "Of course!"

Aragorn: "Okay lets go back to bed."

So the next day they had a great battle. Elves, men, and green ghosts came, even the circus! Course That what Lauryn said they were...it was actually the elephants and orcs and nazguls and ringwraiths. After gimli, Legolas, and Aragorn were sitting in the waiting room talking about the great battle they had won, while Lauryn was trying on wedding dresses showing them every 25 mins..since it took her many minutes to try and get it each dress on and off.

As Lauryn walked in with another wedding dress she finds Aragorn sitting and laughing,

legolas very close by the door in a little ball shaking, and gimli rolling around on the

floor bleeding..and HER COUSIN!

Lauryn:"OMG! YOUR HERE!HOW DID YOU GET HERE?"..she stops and realises what she just saw.. "Umm.. what happened here?"


	5. Chapter 5 Morgan and the razor of DOOM

Chapter 5 Morgan and the razor of DOOM

a very dishevelled, weary , dirty, and half dead looking Morgan slowly crawls towards Sam and Frodo, who are in Mordor.They stare at her amazed, and slightly disturbed

Morgan: hoarse...Found...razor...evil... passes out

Frodo: ...So what do we do now?

Sam: pokes Morgan with foot

Morgan had awoken, and is explaining everything about the razor to Frodo and Sam. Sam looks bewildered, and Frodo looks distressed

Frodo: D'you mean to tell me that we've come all this way, had one of our companions die and risked our own lives, for nothing?

Morgan:...Basically, that's it, yah...

Frodo: ...Whatever happened to you being in love with me?

Morgan: blushes Well, you see... Um... The thing is that...You were going to the Undying Lands, and I didn't feel that I could keep a long distance relationship going... And then there's the ever complicating factor of how Sam is in love with you...

Frodo and Sam: WHAT! they inch away from each other

Morgan: Um... grabs razor out of Frodo's pocket YOINK! runs away

Frodo: HEY!

Morgan is inside Mount Doom, preparing to destroy all evil forever. Finally, she takes the razor out of her pocket, and walks over to the edge of the mountain, about to throw it in

Razor: seductively...You KNOW you want to shave... Shave your legs... Look how repulsive and hairy they are... No one will like you now... You want to shave...

Morgan: looks at razor, then lifts up one of her pant legs. Sure enough, the pale calf exposed is indeed very hairy. But she shrugs I didn't have friends in the first place makes to throw razor

Frodo: WAIT! runs inside mountain If this thing is as evil as you say it is, then it will certainly give me unimaginable powers, should I claim it for my own. And if I had unimaginable power, then surely you would love me! I'll show you! I'll how you all! grabs razor from Morgan And now, I shall become the Dark lord of all MiddleEarth! maniacal laughter

Then, a great and terribly transformation took Frodo. A dark mist clouded the whole mountain, and no one could see what was going on. Then, the sound of Frodo's laughter was magnified, and the entire world went dark. Soon enough, the smoke cleared, revealing Frodo for the greedy bastard he had become

Sam: in tears Mr. Froooooooodo! What have you done to your beautiful fa- I mean you?

Morgan: giggles If you squint, and turn your head sideways, he kinda looks like a Picasso...

Sure enough... Frodo had turned into the likeness of Sauron...Only he was two huge blue eyes on a tiny body about to collapse under the weight of the eyes. It was kinda funny, really...

Frodo: SHUT UP! ...And never mind what I look like. I am now the most powerful being in the universe points to Morgan AND YOU WILL LOVE ME!

Sam: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! jumps in slow motion, and bites off the hand that Frodo had the razor in

Frodo: AAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAA HHHHHHH HHHHH! Couldn't you have just taken it from me?

Morgan: ...I like his way better

Sam: smiles

Morgan: picks up the razor from where it fell on the ground beside Frodo's severed hand And now, to destroy the razor, once and for all throws it into the fires

But as the razor hits the lava, it solidifies, and ejects the razor back to where it came from, hitting Frodo's left eye, and sending him falling to the ground

Morgan: Oh you have GOT to be kidding me!

Aunt Bunny Apparition: You need something just as evil to destroy it

Morgan: Huh?

Aunt Bunny Apparition: screams in frustration and disappears

Morgan: giggles She done gotsted a moustache!

Sam: WHAT?

Morgan: Wait!... I have an idea!

Back in Minas Tirith, the battle against Sauron had been won... Though the razor had not been destroyed, getting hit in the face with it had caused Frodo to accidentally drop the ring into the fires of Mount DOOM. The result being crying and much swears on Frodo's part. Morgan is pacing nervously outside a door, seemingly very nervous. She then opens it and quickly walks into the room. Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli are inside the room, talking about what a great war that was, and how manly they all were. Morgan approaches them anxiously

Morgan: Gimli, I need to put my hand down your pants!

Gimli: pleasantly surprised I hardly know ye lass...but okay

and thus, Morgan stuck both her hand and the razor down Gimli, son of Gloin's pants.

And her hand did catch on fire, and the razor was destroyed. Legolas did try to put out Morgan's hand fire by shooting at it, but this did little to aid the situation. Aragorn tried to cut the fire off her hand, but that did nothing as well. Gimli was more concerned about the fact that the inevitable explosion from the razor being destroyed had blown off both of his legs, and one of his arms. Both he and Morgan ran around, screaming in pain... Well, Gimli was doing more of a rolling action because he didn't have legs anymore, and was spurting blood everywhere in a most fountinous way. Legolas did run away because blood would ruin his hair. But Aragorn didn't seem to mind. And so, all evil was destroyed, and a happy ending will surely ensue with much merry making

All: Yay a la 'Monty Python


	6. Chapter 6 Dresses and Dummies

Chapter 6: Dresses And Dummies

A/N: Just thought I would let you know that there will be one or two more chapters after this one, and then my cousin and I will be attacking another familiar story..lol..Oh yes, also just to let you know my cousin and I HATE dresses, just in case you miss it in the story :p lmao! You should also know that one of my nicknames is "Dory" You know the blue fish off of finding Nemo because I tend to forget things..alot..anyways, Enjoy! I'm not very good at authors notes!

A few days after Lauryn and Morgan were reunited, in Aragorn and Lauryn's bedroom...Day before the wedding/coronation...

Lauryn: "NO!" She screamed, "I will **NOT** wear a dress! I refuse! It's so uncomfortable, now this. . ." holds up a hoody and jeans "Is **MUCH** better!"

Aragorn: "No." He said calmly, almost as though he was expecting this.

Lauryn: "**WHAT?**" She says sounding very annoyed.

Aragorn: "You will wear the dress."

Lauryn: "Umm.. how about no! I mean look at it...it's white...and silky...and sparkly.. Mary-sue

syndrome starts to affect Lauryn Ooo.. and it's so pretty! Oh Aragorn, love you! Let's go shag like 30 times!"

Aragorn: Blank stare

Lauryn: says to self "Noo! Stupid Mary-sue syndrome! **Go Away!** I'm not a Mary-sue...I just married a guy that I "met" like 4 or 5 days ago...hmm..oh well! This is fanfic and my story..who cares:p" She then looks at Aragorn who is still standing in shock. "Umm.. sorry imitating a character from a... scary book.."

Aragorn: "Well remind me to have that book burned once we return from our honeymoon/vacation. Oh! And speaking of books, I have a pre-wedding present for you." Pulls out a box with a ribbon on it and hands it to Lauryn.

Lauryn: Pulls out a yellow and black book that says, "Queendome for Dummies." on the front cover "What is **THIS?**" holds up book

Aragorn: "Well, you see.. My whole kingdom naturally expects an older, mature, Shakespearian type women. And since you and I both know that you hate Shakespeare and are much younger the me and.." gets cut off by Lauryn.

Lauryn: "Yes, I know what I am/am not."

Aragorn: "Ahem, yes.. I just thought you could try something different."

Lauryn: frowns "I thought said all I had to do was sit in a chair beside you, and then I could do whatever I wanted!" shakes fist "You said nothing of dresses and Shakespeare!"

Aragorn: "Well, things change... just like your cousin, whats-her-face."

Lauryn: "Morgan?"

Aragorn: "Yes, Morgan."

Lauryn: "What have you done to her now?"

Aragorn: "Well, she still thinks that I'm a greasy-slime bag, but now she will be thinking it in a pretty pink dress."

Flashes to Morgan

"NOOOOOOOO" I WILL NOT GO DOWN WITHOUT A FIGHT" Morgan hollers from the top of her lungs. And as she does she picks up 3 large stones and throws them at the 9 soldiers chasing her, knocking out 3 of them.

Soldier #4: "It's **just** a dress!"

Soldier #5: "Come on 24 hours from tomorrow morning and it will be all over!"

Soldier #6: "Faramir will be there!"

Morgan: "**Really?**" As she says this she knocks out soldiers 4, 5, and 6 by smashing them into a nearby wall.

End of Flash

Lauryn: gasps "You didn't!"

Aragorn: "Well, I did and now 6 of my strongest soldiers are in the house of Healing because of it."

Lauryn: "I meant say the words "pretty" and "pink", but that was my next question."

Aragorn: gives stern look "So, you will stop arguing with me and wear the dress?"

Lauryn: sighs "Fine, I guess if Morgan has to wear a pink dress I could wear a white dress."

The next day..."Day of the Coronation/Wedding"

Lauryn: Is reading the "Queendome for Dummies book" waiting for her time to go down the aisle."

Book: "_Rule #322: A queen must always wear dresses.."_

Lauryn: "Well this could be a big problem.."

Book: _"-and hair must always be worn down with a crown."_

Lauryn: shakes head and laughs "Ha! Definitely not happening!"

Book: _"Rule #323: Queens must be able to **properly** walk in high-heeled shoes_."

Lauryn: laughs "Apparently they think all queens know and can walk in high-heels!"

Book: _"Rule #324: Queens must be able to prepare meals for their husband/king."_

Lauryn: "Did he even **read** this book before he asked me to marry him? Because **NONE** of this is **ever** going to happen!"

Random Soldier: "It is time Lauryn."

Lauryn: looks confuzzled. "For what?'

Random Soldier: "For your wedding/coronation. . . remember?"

Lauryn: thinks "Oh ya! That's why I am in this dress! Sorry had a 'dory moment'."

Random Soldier: "Yes, yes you did. . . good luck!"

Lauryn: "Thanks! Says to self: "Okay now, right, left, right, left, look up dammit! These people are all starring at you! Oh ya! Right, left, right, left, right, left, right, left, right, left...etc. Okay stop, turn, face the crowd, smile, turn, pause, walk up to Aragorn and Gandalf, and then turn and look at Aragorn, smile, hold hands."

Gandalf: "blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah..you are now Husband and Wife. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, you are now King and Queen."

Aragorn: Does some King chant, then kisses Lauryn and begins to walk down aisle...Lauryn at his side."


	7. Chapter 7 Old Friends

Chapter 7: Old Friends..

A/N: This is Morgan, yes THE Morgan from the story, Lauryn's crazy cousin. For any of you "hard core" fans out there, I'm putting the story up on my...web site, I guess you could call it, but this version will have original artwork (in this case, meaning crappy drawings done by the authoresses in a desperate attempt to pass the time) and stuff. So, if you want to look and see what a couple of crazy teens pumped full of caffeine can do when they are given pencils and paper, the link is: http/groups. there's the link, and here's the next part of the story. Enjoy!

Everyone is on that...um... peak/cliff thingy for Aragorn and Lauryn's coronation/wedding. Everyone is happy and cheerful, glad that the King has, at last, returned to Gondor

Morgan sits sulking in her fold up lawn chair, wearing a dress that doesn't fit, and a sour expression on her face. In the seats next to her, Eowyn and Faramir are fawning over each other, quite obviously in love

Morgan: "He was going to wait for me..."

King Aragorn and Queen Lauryn come strolling down the isle, and everyone bows to them, except for Morgan, who is still sitting in her chair sulking. Lauryn looks pleadingly at Aragorn, who nods reluctantly. Rushing over to her cousin, Lauryn takes Morgan's hands in her own

Lauryn: "Dearest cousin, tell me what it is that ails thee..."

Morgan: "...Well, I have been feeling a bit queasy since we ate at that all night chili bar..."

Lauryn: "Nay, thou lookest upset. What ails thee?"

Morgan: "um... Nothingest ails me...eth..."

Lauryn: "I see through thy act. Thou art heart broken over Lord Faramir's engagement to the fair Lady Eowyn"

Morgan: " ...Since when have YOU talked like that anyway? You hate Shakespeare!"

Lauryn: shrugs "I'm just following the guidelines in the 'Queendome for Dummies' book Aragorn gave me"

Morgan: sulks "I wish someone would give ME an aardvark..."

Lauryn: "Don't worry. One day you'll find a- WHAT?"

Morgan: "um... never mind. Anyway, there's somebody I've gotta go find..." looks into the crowd

Picture of Daniel Radcliffe: "Was it me?" Daniel Radcliffe comes swooping down on his broom stick right in front of Morgan

Morgan: " ...Actually, it was the hor d'oeuvres guy, but you'll do nicely"

Daniel Radcliffe: "I've missed you since you've been gone"

Morgan: "And I've missed you, Maxwaldow"

Daniel Radcliffe: "Daniel"

Morgan: "Daniel. ...And I'm so sorry for all the wrongs I've ever done you. Would you be willing to forgive me?"

crowd that had gathered around them had begun to chant "Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!" Morgan picks up her lawn chair, and smacks an innocent bystander with it. Crowd shuts up then

Morgan: "Would you be willing to forgive me... and take me back?"

Daniel Radcliffe: "Of course I would"

crowd cheers

Morgan and Daniel Radcliffe: "SHUT UP!"

crowd goes silent. Morgan and Daniel Radcliffe look at each other and laugh merrily

Daniel Radcliffe: "Would you come away with me? Leave all this behind and come with me to be me Empreen on Harry Potter Island?"

Morgan: "Empreen?"

Daniel Radcliffe: "A mix between Empress and Queen, more powerful this way."

Morgan: "Oh... Of course I will!" jumps onto Daniel Radcliffe's broom as the crowd cheers, and together they sail off into the sunset... even though it was just a little past one in the afternoon

Lauryn: smacks Aragorn "Why didn't you make ME an Empreen?"


End file.
